Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My tough day.

On the 20th of this month, I had my ultrasound to find out what we are having. By the title of my post, you can probably guess what the results were. I wanted a girl SOOOO bad. The moment our tech said it's a boy, tears just started streaming. The sobs came later. Jeff didn't really know how to handle my reaction because he was fine with having another boy. The tech didn't understand the depth of my want and continued to make me feel awful for crying. Comments like, there's no cleft-lip, two hands and two feet, two kidneys, four chambered heart, etc. -- made me grateful it was a healthy baby, but I was still disappointed. I felt like an incredibly unappreciative person. It took me a lot of kleenex and about 5 hrs. to be able to talk about it without crying.

I hope this doesn't lower anyone's opinion of me, especially my Father in Heaven. I believe that everything has a purpose and I know we're not done having kids, but I didn't want to worry about this every time. "Will it be a girl this time......the time after that? Will we ever have one?" Those of you who are wondering, I'm good now. That very same day, actually, I came to my senses and realized it was okay.

So....... to sum it all up, here's the official announcment:
It's a Boy!!!!!

10 comments:

Danielle said...

Congratulations!! And no, I would never think less of you for wanting a girl. Secretly, I wanted Charlotte to be a boy and was kind of bummed about it. Whenever someone would say, "Now you have one of each" I really wanted to roll my eyes at them. The thought of girls kind of scared me. I'd trade you, but I've gotten rather attached to Charlotte since then. :) Hope you're enjoying your pregnancy!!

Layton Clan said...

You have every right to feel what you did. I remember my mom telling me that she had wanted her last baby to be a girl (russell), and how difficult it was to wrap herself around the idea of another boy... but what in the world would we do without Russell! You are such a great mom, and so fun. Congratulations on the perfectly healthy baby! What honestly could be better! I love you girl. Jen

brownymama said...

Okay, this is Krista Cook- Brown. I stumbled upon your blog from Alisa's or someone else. Anyhow... I laughed when I read this because it was so familiar. I remember when we found out that #3 was another boy, I cried. I really wanted it to be a girl. Then I got over it and decided I was a "boy mom". Well, when we were expecting #4 I really wanted it to be a BOY. I was set on the whole program. Well..... they told us it was a girl, and I cried. The deal is my girl is more like a boy than a girl and it really truly doesn't matter. Each kid comes with his own personality and that is what you fall head over heals for. I'm happy for you guys in all that you're doing! And you'll love having all those boys around! I'm sure you already do. (:

Caroline said...

You can want whatever you want and even if you're a little bummed that's alright. We know you're going to love that little boy to death. There's nothing wrong with wanting a girl, because girls rock.

Plus, to have 3 boys, you've got to be stellar mommy/wife/woman because boys are CRAZY! (fun, but definitely crazy...)

Alisa Larson said...

Well, I was going to tell you how my sister Krista had 3 boys, then a girl, but I guess she beat me to it! Congrats on the healthy baby boy!

Wilson Family said...

ohhh I'm so sorry! We don't think less of you. We can totally relate. Tamra got books on "how to have a girl" you should call her. It worked for her and she swears by it. I think that she would be more than happy to help you next time around. There's still hope and you're that much closer to a basketball team! :)
Shana Wilson

Jen said...

I am so sorry you had such a bad day! Don't beat yourself up about it though, you know you will just adore this baby when he gets here so it is okay to be sad about it! Yay for another baby!!

The Gardner Gang said...

Thanks for the comfort friends. It really helped.

Shana would you mind sending me Tamra's e-mail address or her phone number? Thanks.
jcgardner825@juno.com

Kemptons said...

Congratulations... If anything it's great that he is healthy. Don't feel bad because you were a little upset. My sister was the same way. She had three boys before she had a girl. I tell myself that I don't care what we have next but I secretly want a boy really bad and I know I will be a little crushed if I don't. Hope you guys had a great Christmas.

Jennifer said...

I TOTALLY know how you feel. Thoughts of another boy are haunting my desires to get pregnant again...

Then again, they really are cute.